Frankly speaking, I have been scratching my head as to first, whether or not I should actually write a piece like this and secondly how to even begin with writing such a piece. The underlying conclusion however that you may arrive at prior to even reading the piece is that it is based on personal experience more so than an actual analytical study on human behavior. And you wouldn’t be too wrong for assuming that either. *hint hint yes I have been single for a long time thank you very much.
Okaayy well now that we’ve got that out of the way haha! I should actually point out in all fairness that there is absolutely nothing wrong with simply being single per se, even if you have been single for 2928 days 12 hours 30 minutes and 45 seconds, I mean who is keeping count right haha! *sigh But really if you are single and have been so for a long time there is absolutely nothing wrong with you especially if your reasons for that are convincing (to you first and to others second) i.e. religion, workload, past experiences etc.
Now the one thing that I have come to realize recently is that there is an unspoken stigma around being single, and it’s not necessarily a stigma that is caused by others but actually by ones own self. So in fact you begin to question yourself (before others do so) about being single for such a long time, as though something is actually wrong with you. And in my opinion that’s probably one of the first things that happen to you internally when you are in that situation, just the constant questioning of “why can’t I be with someone?”.
The next thing that happens to you is that somehow you become an expert of sorts in relationships, I mean exhibit A right *points to self. And so you would have plenty of friends with relationship problems that come to you seeking for advice (O wise single one haha!). But the reason for that I feel is that when you are not emotionally attached to a problem you realize that the solution to the problem is often rather straight forward or logical. And I can guarantee you that most people with relationship problems have the solutions to their problems, just that emotions get the better of them and they are unable to act on those solutions, but that’s another topic altogether I guess.
Another thing that probably happens to you is that you become a pendulum really. Pendulum?! Yes you read it correctly Pendulum! “Boy has he lost it!” you must be thinking, but hear me out. On one end of the pendulum you become this love cynic or a love atheist, for lack of a better term. Where you just think okay you know what love doesn’t exist it’s a myth, am going to be single all my life, am going to die single with no less than 6 cats who are going to inherit me.
And on the other end of that pendulum you become the exact opposite. You start believing that you would find that special person in the most extravagant of ways. On a plane, at your new job, in the mall, at your best friend’s friend’s party, you know just complete Disney princess fairy tale stuff. And internally what happens to you is that you begin to swing psychologically between these two states, and the pendulum never really settles down or comes to a stop. Okayy! maybe that does sound a bit crazy but anyways I hope you get my point. I hope!
In conclusion, okay before that, I actually did come up with a couple of other points but it would make for a long uncomfortable read I figured, so maybe one day I’ll come up with a second piece to back this one up, maybe! But to conclude all of this I would probably have to take an extract from one of Steve Jobs’s famous speeches in which he mentioned that with all matters of the heart, it is important to not settle!
Don’t simply get into a relationship just because you have been single for too long that’s a waste of your emotions, energy and time not to mention the other person’s as well, especially if you don’t necessarily have feelings for that individual. That is nay short of criminal I would say.
And if you are taking the path of faith in all of this (as I am) then rest assured that a lot of these things are fated and that when the time is right, things will fall into place without you having to break a sweat. The only thing you need, and probably the hardest thing actually, is patience.
God bless 🙂