The experience of rediscovering oneself is something that a lot of us experience in our lives. Just think about this idea for a second; the idea that we spend our entire lives uncovering various aspects about our behaviors, about our personalities and about ourselves in general. And when you look at things in that perspective, I guess really what we are doing by living life is that we are in fact figuring out ourselves. Sort of like travelling with a bag that’s full of stuff and each day you open up that bag and pull out something new, not knowing that what you just pulled out was actually inside all along.
Now I am pretty sure that an intro like this might make you wonder about the various substances that I might be allowing into my body , but I assure you … its just meth. Haha! Just kidding 😛 You see the real reason this whole idea popped up in my head is that I realized, after moving away, that there were so many things about myself that I didn’t necessarily know.
Take for example likes and dislikes, and I can probably speak for a lot of people when I say that as each day passes I find something new that I either like or dislike. But really this whole experience of moving from a familiar place to an unfamiliar one makes you feel exposed to certain degree I think. Mostly because you do not have your usual frame of reference. Whether that’s with regards to norms or ethics etc. but everything basically just hits you as new.
And I think this experience is usually further magnified the greater the difference between where you were and where you are is. So if you are moving to somewhere that is entirely different; different culture, language, religion, ethics etc. then this feeling would be far more obvious.
I also feel that there are these moments in life that push you to the absolute edge of your comfort zones (or abilities sometimes) just so that it can be made clear to you how much more you have inside of you. Sort of like being forced to open up that bag you are carrying and checking to see what you else is in there. And I know I have spoken before about comfort zones, but certainly this past month or so has been an absolute journey outside of my comfort zones. Dora the explorer style!
On an emotional level, I would be lying if I told you I didn’t spend the first couple of nights just thinking you know what, “Eff all this am moving back to Mama and Baba”. But thinking back now being away from Mama and Baba just made me wonder about a time, in the distant future I hope, when they won’t be around anymore. Sad as it may sound, it struck me really really hard at that moment, especially as to how little I have done for them in comparison to what they have done for me and how much more I should be doing.
On a professional level, the best analogy I can come up with really is basically like when you are a new kid in a school that’s far away from home. You very quickly realize that you need to forgo certain things and adjust in order to adapt, otherwise it’s going to take you a long time in order to assimilate. Not to mention the incredible awkwardness in trying to be friends with people who are completely new to you.
And I could go on and on about other things but I suppose the real message am trying to get across in all of this is that there is so much more to each and every one of us (there has to be) and that you should always shoo away any ideas in your head that this is all you have or that this is all that’s in you, or more importantly that this is all someone has and this is all that’s in them.
oh and don’t do drugs 🙂 Haha