It goes without saying really that the mind of a woman is probably one of life’s greatest mysteries. So mysterious in fact that I would even argue women themselves can’t seem to figure out each other. It is as many would say a cluster-fuck of emotions, hormones, badly timed realizations, dreams, aspirations, feelings and self-scrutiny. And that’s probably just the tip of the ice-berg I would assume.
Now without sounding too sexist or condescending, might be a little too late for that, I should point out that I have 2 older sisters myself and about a ton of female friends so in no way is this some sort of attack on the female gender. It just amuses me how, at times, women would seem to clearly side step all the Nice Guys out there and go for the lying, cheating neanderthal.
Where is all of this going tho?
Well you know that saying about nice guys finishing last, or potentially the lack of thee. Uhm I have always had my doubts about that statement but am starting to think that there just might be an element of truth behind the whole thing, and here’s why.
But first I think its important to define what falls under the definition of nice or what qualifies a guy to be considered nice. The main criteria I would use for defining how nice anyone, irrespective of guy or girl, is the level of concern that one has for others. And in addition to that how sincere and honest one is with regards to their dealings with others. So for example, if one takes the time to remember mundane details about another person or if one takes the time to listen and help regarding the concerns or issues of another person. All without wanting much in return, then in my book that’s a nice person.
Of course there’s more than just that which defines a person but for simplicity sake let’s keep it along those lines and let’s classify “Not-so-nice Guys” as the opposite of that. On top of that am also referring to encounters between men and women prior to them knowing one another, i.e. First impressions basis.
And when it comes to first impressions nothing stands out more than someone’s looks. Am not saying all Nice Guys are ugly but it might help noting that a lot of Nice Guys aren’t usually the most attractive. And there’s nothing wrong with that because as cliche as it may sound no one is perfect. It’s almost as though it’s a packaged deal of sorts. Haha. Like you can be good looking but you have to be an ass as well or vice-versa. This is probably one of the most superficial and shallow reasons but very much true I think.
Now the one thing I can honestly say about Nice Guys is that they usually start off at a disadvantage and that is that they are usually slower than other guys. Not slow as in dumb but slower in the sense of realizing that a girl might be into them or maybe slower in their attempts at making a move. And so Nice Guys often lay low or in many ways take their time with regards to approaching girls. Often times trying to give girls the opportunity to be comfortable around them first before making any moves, which usually backfires horribly and condemns them into the dreaded Friendzone. *vomit
Most other Guys on the other hand have an element of boldness about them and usually make quick advances and appear far more confident and adventurous, which in all honesty would be something that many would deem attractive, because frankly who wants to date a brick. However, a lot of these guys also eventually get categorized as jerks or snobs as their attempts get more erratic and/or desperate and insincere, because frankly who wants to date a prick. Haha!
Another common characteristic about Nice Guys is that they often tell the truth. Which on first account sounds like a good thing, and it is don’t get me wrong, but lots of times the truth is boring to people. And so that ends up probably working more against them than it actually really should. Am not encouraging lying by the way, am just stating what I see.
Now here is where I think the story becomes interesting, because it eventually becomes apparent to all of these Nice Guys that they need to act like all these other Guys in order to reach a tangible goal. And so what you then have is an exodus whereby all these Nice guys slowly but surely morph themselves into all these other Guys. Mimicking their actions and behaviors as it begins to feel that that might be the only way forward. And by this stage experience begins to play a part. Which might explain why initially a lot of Nice Guys do a very bad job at acting like other Guys. But eventually they get there and even the Nice Guys get classified as Guys.
In so many ways life isn’t all that fair, and the rules that dictate it at times seem random to say the least and so you can’t really be naive and think that just because you are nice, things will work out for you. So even the hardest (toughest) people we see today were probably the nicest and sweetest at some point, but through experience they have learnt to move forward.
Finally, the funniest thing about all of this is that you could easily flip the script and find yourself questioning why nice girls finish last. In fact I think its probably harder for girls because its an endless waiting game for them. At least for us guys the ball is on our side of the court most of the times. I guess maybe the best approach is to always put your best foot forward, whether that’s by being nice, polite, decent or whatever. And on top of that to treat the other gender as how they treat you, not based on how you expect (want) them to treat you.
Be Nice & God Bless 🙂