I can’t really seem to tell if am becoming an emotional person or if this is some weird consequence of blogging and the nature of my blogs, but I have come to find myself “too connected” with my emotions recently. And the truth is am not really sure how I feel about that Haha! The safest bet would probably be my tendency to live inside my head, meticulously analyzing things. Not a healthy habit I must admit, but when you don’t drink or smoke you kinda need to find some other way of destroying yourself I guess.
Customary cynical joke: check!
So recently I’ve been dwelling on the idea that a lot of the times in life we sort of underestimate the affects we have on others. And it’s fascinating really, when you think about it, just how much of an influence we all can possibly have on one another. Like how we can lift someone up with the smallest of gestures and equally tear them down with the simplest of insults. Knowingly and unknowingly. Actually I’d say the latter is far more common, simply because we don’t really feel or experience the effects we have had on another person and so we aren’t really aware of them and therefore we underestimate them. However, the effects that others have had on us we obviously feel, and so are aware of them. This in turn results in probably one of the most universal of human experiences; loneliness! Or better yet the feeling that one is alone in their experience of the things that happen to them.
Moreover, at times it could just be our presence or absence alone that makes all the difference. Think for example the feeling of emptiness that one has when a family member/close friend/lover isn’t around for whatever reason. Now the really interesting part in all of this is the fact that we all respond differently to how others affect us. Some are open about it, and they let you know how you have affected them. Others are stubborn about it and act as though nothing has happened. There really isn’t a right way to go about such a thing but as with many things in life a balanced approach would be ideal. As in you don’t want to come off as an emotionless rock or a ten year old whose been asked to go to bed a half hour before their bedtime.
The most common assumption however is that you need to know someone well and long enough in order to affect them. Which is logical in a way but is certainly not always the case. In fact I would say that most of us are more inclined to listen to sound and genuine advice from a stranger than from a familiar face at times. Like during counselling for example, I think maybe that’s so because of the lack of judgement that one finds when speaking to a stranger.
And that’s key I feel in all of this; judgment. You see a huge part of our relationship with others is rooted in how we make others feel about themselves. So if you really want to touch someone… wait that sounds wrong, if you really want to affect someone it’s probably best to accept them first for who they are because that is them. And if you zero in on any flaws they have just remember that you too are flawed and you too would appreciate a little bit of understanding. Maybe then would you be able to touc… I mean affect them.
God bless and keep your hands to yourself please.