What better time of the year to publish an article on relationships than on the eve of potentially one of the most expensive days of the year, Valentines- howaboutyougobroke- day! So I’ve been doing some digging right, actually just googled the word, and found out that the word “relationship” first appeared in use in the English language right around the middle of the 18th Century. And didn’t specifically carry any romantic significance till about the middle of the 20th Century. Which makes you wonder really just how shallow modern day language is in that we have a word that encompasses a diverse spectrum of meanings but is primarily used for a couple of reasons only.
What I mean by that is the word relationship is used to represent the connection or relation between individuals. In fact I think the “ship” at the end was added to maybe indicate that the individuals were on the same boat with regards to something, and god knows best but yeah just guessing here. So there’s numerous types of relationships between people, familial relationships, work relationships, love relationships, even simply just friendship relationships haha! The point is there are many and each potentially has sub-branches, for example long distance relationships, boss-employee relationships, brother-sister relationships etc.
Now what interested me to the extent that I would write an entire article on the word is how all these types of relationships have many similar characteristics about them and of course each have their own unique characteristics but somehow somewhere you realize that people are people and how they bond is somewhat similar. For example right, Why is it easy for people to get along initially but then later on things often get complicated. My answer is expectation, initially you don’t expect anything from that individual so it’s kind of easy to accept whatever it is that they do for you, whether it’s how they greet you or how they talk to you or even how they respond to what you do for them. But after some time that changes and if they don’t greet you like before or they don’t talk to you as much or even react to what you do that becomes an issue.
Another example is the essential nature of trust in most relationships. More so definitely in love relationships and in varying aspects, but effectively trust is the bedrock of any relationship and often times without it the relationship is merely an acquaintance. It’s also one of the hardest things to fix in a relationship as once trust is lost it is never attained back in the same amount. Same goes with communication, people often say what they don’t mean and mean what they don’t say and between that so much of love is lost. So it’s vital in any relationship to explain to someone exactly why you are upset or if you are upset for that matter.
There are also aspects about relationships that are ugly but certainly necessary. Take for example jealousy, in the right amount and for the right reasons, jealously can save a relationship. Too much and unnecessarily however, it can be cancerous. Also isn’t it funny how the people who know you the most or longest are the ones that have the potential to be your worst enemies. As with family feuds or long term partners and I think maybe the reason is that these people usually know the inroads to your weaknesses and can potentially prey on them if they wanted to.
Finally probably one of the hardest things about relationships is their maintenance. Achieving a healthy relationship is no easy feat in itself but maintaining it, that should qualify for some bonus points in life. I say that because after a given time relationships change. Not to mention the individuals themselves change as with the circumstances of the individual and so this “ship” that you have built with this individual, it might not need changing but certainly some renovating. The first step I believe is accepting that it’s okay to have problems and that it can’t always be perfect. In fact each problem is an opportunity to strengthen the relationships given the right response. Look at it this way, imagine you find out something is wrong with your house, are you going to be stubborn and say I’ll just let it fix itself or am moving? Or are you going to use it as an opportunity to make your house better by fixing the defect?
Stay happy and stay blessed.